My paper, 'Was the New Testament originally written in Coptic?', has been accepted to the New Testament Textual Criticism section for SBL 2009. Of course, the answer to this question is no. However, the Coptic versions are our best hope for rebuilding the Latin autographs of the New Testament texts (from which the Greek translations were made) which predate the Coptic translations by only one (or maybe two) decades. After evaluating my dialectal-stemmata with a Tau-cubed equation, I have shown with a 87% likelihood that the Coptic translations were created by an Alexandrian -- perhaps the apologist Apollos from the Acts narrative. I will be showing some clips from Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ to buttress my case that Latin was extensively used in the Eastern half of the Roman empire.
[This was posted on April Fools' Day, 2009.]